Gnorman Gnome (Copyright!? Neale Ferguson, 1991 & 1997)
The Gnome File
Hi,
What follows is a mish-mash of observations, diaries, and transcripts from the time I stole a garden gnome, sent it on a trip and returned it home.
What makes this gnome story different to most is the use of an international computer network that allowed participation of many people from around the world.
Briefly, this Gnome was stolen from a friend's front yard in October, 1990. It spent some time in Australia before going to Arizona in January, 1991 (during the Gulf war which made customs quite an interesting exercise). After a week in Tucson it made its way to UCLA where it spent a lot of its time. It made it to a conference of 5000 computer users in San Francisco.
During its absence cards were sent from all over the world to the owner. Each card described where it was and what it was doing.
Gnorman made it home on Christmas Eve 1991. It was only at this time that the owner was aware who was responsible for the theft.
Amongst the memorabilia available are photographs (including Gnorman travelling business class to LA and touring Venice Beach Ca.); T-shirts (of which > 100 were sold); post-cards (the descriptions of which are included in this document); and correspondence between the conspirators.
Click here for an index of Pictures and Postcards.
Click here for maps of the trip.
Lindsay and Family
It all started one Saturday night after a post-match drink at the Little House(1). Before leaving the Neill residence, Graeme (my brother-in-law) scuttled into the front yard and retrieved young Gnorman Gnome from beside the letterbox. Gnorman then took up lodgings at the Ferguson household. Then a recruitment drive took place to find willing partners in this scam. The medium used was the computer conferencing system based at McGill University in Canada. I solicited invitiations with the following entry in a forum known as HUMOR:
I am looking for a selection of people to take part in a small and harmless prank. I have kidnapped a gnome (of the garden variety) from a friend's place and would like letters to be sent from all parts of the world describing what a wonderful time he is having on his overseas vacation. If you are interested in taking part in this operation please send me mail.Neale. (p.s. have a happy thanksgiving)
It wasn't long before the replies started rolling in.
As the weeks rolled on the cards started to arrive from all around the world. Lindsay was bewildered, blaming everyone he could find. He was convinced it was me until the Hong Kong, German and Scotish cards arrived.
Lindsay was then silly enough to put the Gnome given to his wife in the backyard. Gles is was quickly gnome-gnapped and joined young Gnorman.
In January, I travelled to the USA for business and took Gnorman and Gles with me. This was just before operation Desert Storm but security was still tight. I had some interesting explaining to do as my hand luggage was being X-rayed! (One person actually referred to the Gnorman as a sculpture!) Fortunately, when the war started I only had to travel one domestic leg and was able to deposit Gnorman and Gles at their new home at UCLA.
Since that time Gnorman has travelled within the US attending a major computing conference in San Francisco (SHARE - at which some 5000 delegates attend) where he was guest of honor at the VMSHARE table.
I also made the suggestion that T-shirts be produced that would mark Gnorman's World Tour (like the Rock group shirts one sees) and list the places he has travelled. These were duly produced and sold (well over 100 of them!). Lindsay and Family were sent complimentary copies.
Some of the earlier collaborators and their nominated postcard
scenes are listed below:
| ID | Name | Location |
|---|---|---|
| PU | Melinda Varian | New York City |
| PU | Lee Varian | Scandanavia |
| $CA | Anne-Marie Marcoux | McGill U. |
| Alan Greenberg | Montreal | |
| $S2 | Rich Chong | Chicago |
| UDM | Nick Laflamme | Indiana Miami |
| MPN | Harry | New York |
| JG | Janet Gobeille | San Diego |
| UV | Melvin Klassen | University of Victoria (BC) |
| JH | John Hartmann | Copenhagen Denmark |
| VR | Virginia Hetrick | Miami Gainesville Rio Antarctica |
| IND | Paul Russell | Indiana Yucatan |
| FNC | Bill Temps | Virgin Islands |
| VMG | Phil Smith III | Virginia |
| VMS | Ross Paterson | Virginia |
| TMC | Jay Koonz | Connecticut Arkansas Hawaii |
| ULT | Tony Harminc | Prague Toronto |
| NAS | Rob Winters | Washington DC |
| UML | Peter Carri | Portland ME |
| .MC | Mark Cathcart | London Nottingham Brussels Basingstoke |
| _UG | Alan Flavell | Glasgow |
| $NU | Donna Walker | Portland OR San Diego |
| .BL | Barry Leiba | UN HQ |
| $AS | Peter Turner | Hong Kong Budapest |
| PBS | John Lemkelde | Three Mile Island Hershey Pa. |
| TUL | John Voigt | Mardi Gras La. |
The most "evil" of the co-conspirators was Melinda from Princeton U who wrote back following my request:
For the gnome project, I suspect that it would be more practical in general to ask people for postcards, rather than letters. Postcards are more colorful anyway. I'll be glad to write the first letter, but I suspect that I'd do a better job with some more background info. What are the names of all the family members (and approximate ages of the children)? Any other ideas about things I can allude to that will make it more authentic?This is fun,
M.
Each of the participants were sent two files. The first thanked them and gave them the address of the victim -
Hi,Thanks for volunteering. Here are the victim's details:
Lindsay xxxxxxxx XX XXXXXXXXXX XXXXX XXXXXXX NSW Australia 2xxxIn your card please address Lindsay as 'Dear Dad' and conclude with 'Your loving gnome, Gnorman'. Take your pick of the following scenarios (or come up with any of your own) -
Picking up loose gnomes
Sorry I didn't leave a note
I was stolen by fairies
Customs was a real drag
Thinking of doing my degree at &university
Travelling in the baggage compartment is not much fun
I'm getting home (gnome?) sick
Hard to get used to driving on the right
Have fallen in love with a statue of Tammy Baker
:
:You get the picture! Thanks for joining in - I thought about taking him with me on my next trip, but he'd really stuff up my baggage allowance! (2) Sorry I couldn't get any pictures over to you - that would have been a nice touch.
Neale.
The second gave some detailed background on Gnorman's family and friends -
Gnome personal details -Name: Gnorman Gnome
Family: Lindsay (Age late 30's) Patricia (40) nickname Boosy (not as in booze as in bosom) Daniel (14) (likes Basketball in Year 8) Luke (10) (in Year 6) Nicholas (7-8) Timothy (17 months) Tails (a dormat of a dog)
Neighbours: Fay and Graeme (children Melissa(15), Joanne(14), Lauren(10) Erin(6), Samuel(6 wks). Dog Maggie. Cat Ginger) Harry and Michelle (Harry is major in Australian Army. 2 children can't remember names) Ken and Isabelle (drinking partners. Son Brett (2-3)) Patrick and Lisa (more drinking partners)
Was located: Next to letterbox (street is a culdesac)
Size: 1 foot
Weight: ??
Colour: Red coat, white face and beard (a jolly type of face).
Local Attractions: 'The Little House' - an ex-servicemen's club
Local Issues: Building of town houses behind property.
The following is some of the personal mail I received on the VMSHARE conferencing system:
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MAIL 3020 TO $AS FROM: PU
Great idea! However, we really need pictures of it as it travels around the world.
M.
*** SENT 11/21/90 19:23:54 BY PU/MELINDA ***
MAIL 3021 TO $AS FROM: VMS
Neale, count me in on gnome. Ross Patterson ( see ADDRESS VMS ) .
*** SENT 11/21/90 20:55:40 BY VMS/ROSSP ***
MAIL 3023 TO $AS FROM: VMG
Is the friend a VMer at TAB? If so, we could probably work an ESA joke in somewhere (yes, you're on our list). ..phsiii
*** SENT 11/21/90 23:45:21 BY VMG/PHS3 ***
MAIL 3032 TO $AS FROM: $CA
To: $AS (Neale Ferguson)
From: $CA (Anne-Marie, McGill University)
Subject: hi !
Date: Thu, 22 Nov 1990 10:03 EST
count me in !!! what's the address ? is a postcard ok ?
someone is waiting for me, more chatting later, ok ?
Anne-Marie
*** SENT 11/22/90 10:04:19 BY $CA ***
MAIL 3045 TO $AS FROM: PU
Exactly where in the yard was the gnome located, i.e., under some particular kind of tree, next to some particular part of the house?
*** SENT 11/22/90 17:38:15 BY PU/MELINDA ***
MAIL 3046 TO $AS FROM: PU
Could the gnome have heard the television or radio from where he was sitting, i.e., to make him want to see the world?
*** SENT 11/22/90 17:59:29 BY PU/MELINDA ***
MAIL 3062 TO $AS FROM: .JH
To: Neale Ferguson
From: John P. Hartmann, FSC Copenhagen.
Hi, Neale.
I'll send a postcard from the Gnome if you like. Would you have a picture of the Gnome?
j.
*** SENT 11/23/90 11:30:49 BY .JH ***
MAIL 3063 TO $AS FROM: UV
To: $AS (Neale Ferguson)
From: UV (Melvin Klassen)
Subject: re: postcard
Date: Fri, 23 Nov 1990 17:51 EST
Sure, I'll send one from wet, wet, Victoria, B.C., Canada.
*** SENT 11/23/90 17:52:42 BY UV/KLASSEN ***
MAIL 3064 TO $AS FROM: .JG
Date: November 23, 1990, 19:03 EST
From: .JG (Janet Gobeille
To: $AS (Neale Ferguson)
Want a postcard from Washington DC, Tucson, or San Diego? I'll be in all 3 in the next 2 weeks (*smile*). Oh yes... this is about your travelling gnome from memo humor (in case this note mystified you (*laugh*). /janet
*** SENT 11/23/90 19:05:13 BY .JG ***
MAIL 3075 TO $AS FROM: PU
Hi, Neale, the first Gnorman postcard (the one explaining why he left home) will go out tomorrow morning. Did Virginia tell you she thinks she might be able to get one sent from Antarctica?
Shall I put the text (and address) of the first one out in MEMO HUMOR to encourage other people to send postcards, or would you rather I didn't?
M.
*** SENT 11/25/90 18:14:26 BY PU/MELINDA ***
MAIL 3079 TO $AS FROM: MPN
Neale, I'll be glad to send a letter for your gnome. Is there anything particular you wish mentioned? Is there an order to this gnome's trip?
Harry
*** SENT 11/26/90 09:12:04 BY MPN/HARRY ***
MAIL 3081 TO $AS FROM: UDM
Neale, I think I saw your friend's gnome (or was it your friend the gnome?) here in South Bend, Indiana, at a party of Notre Dame fans watching our university American football team win yet another game. He said something about wanting to send a post card home but not remembering exactly where home is.
If you'd like me to make sure his postcard gets off, let me know. Or, if you'd prefer, I think he said he'd be back later this winter, possibly for a college basketball game?
Nick (But, no, he didn't want a VM id) Laflamme
*** SENT 11/26/90 09:49:55 BY UDM/NICK ***
MAIL 3107 TO $AS FROM: TMC
Date: November 26, 1990, 15:46 EST
From: TMC (Jay Koonz)
To: $AS (Neale Ferguson)
Neale, Let me know the details also. I have a couple extra postcards from previous trips that are looking for a good home. I can cover Connecticut and Arkansas. I have some nice ones with some Hawaiian women on them if his/her parents wouldn't be offended.
*** SENT 11/26/90 15:49:02 BY TMC/JAY ***
MAIL 3115 TO $AS FROM: ULT
To: $AS (Neale Ferguson)
From: ULT (Tony Harminc - Ultramar)
Subject: Gnome
Date: Mon, 26 Nov 1990 19:48 EST
I can arrange a card from Prague if you like, as well as Toronto of course.
*** SENT 11/26/90 19:49:17 BY ULT/TONY ***
MAIL 3226 TO $AS FROM: UR
Date: December 04, 1990, 18:58 EST
From: UR (Virginia Hetrick in sunny California)
To: $AS (Neale Ferguson)
Neale -
Following the instructions to photograph Gnorman against a white background with as little shadow as possible can you send me four or five different views of Gnorman. I'll splice them into some postcards using a scanner so that we'll have pictuers. I tried this with just an outline and some of my cards from Rio and it works great.
Thanks. vh
*** SENT 12/04/90 19:00:00 BY UR/VRH ***
MAIL 3254 TO $AS FROM: PU
Hi, Gerhard Rentschler, from the University of Stuttgart, has told me that he's sending a postcard "from the homeland of the gnomes". Alan Flavell has already sent one from Scotland. I think I've persuaded Eric Thomas to send one from Stockholm. It's too bad we didn't start this a couple of weeks earlier, because I had colleagues on trips to Moscow and Cairo then; however, I think I can get Moscow in January and Belgium too. Have Virginia's Florida postcards arrived yet?
I'm going to send a Princeton postcard in a few days, but decided that that Virgin Atlantic New York postcard would be the best one to start with. I'll also send Virginia a Princeton picture for the photo album. :-)
M.
*** SENT 12/05/90 18:01:58 BY PU/MELINDA ***
Mail 3463 from FNC on 12/21/90 at 16:11 - 11 lines.
Type, Keep, Delete, Reply, Print, Store, or Quit?
MAIL 3463 TO $AS FROM: FNC
To: $AS (Neale Ferguson)
From: FNC (Bill Temps, First Chicago Corporation)
Subject: Gnorman
Date: Fri, 21 Dec 1990 16:09 EST
I did mail a card from the Virgin Islands about two weeks ago. I hope it arrives; I'd hate to have it go astray.
*** SENT 12/21/90 16:11:01 BY FNC/WHT3 ***
MAIL 3504 TO $AS FROM: PU
Some Gnorman mail for your archives, starting off with Eric's typically Gallic negativism. :-)
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Date: Wed, 28 Nov 1990 10:10:38 EST
From: Melinda Varian <MAINT@PUCC>
To: Eric Thomas <ERIC@SEARN>
Hi, can we count on you for a Gnorman Gnome postcard from Sweden?
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: Wed, 28 Nov 1990 16:22:46 +0100
From: Eric Thomas <ERIC@SEARN>
To: Melinda Varian <MAINT@PUCC>
If you insist. I guess this is a very American joke, it took me 2 VMSHARE distributions to understand what this was all about; I originally thought "gnome" was slang for some kind of animal you do find in gardens :-) Now what am I supposed to write on the postcard? I'm afraid I have no idea what monuments/places in Sweden are well-known across the ocean :-)
Eric
Date: Thu, 6 Dec 1990 07:37:55 EST
From: Melinda Varian <MAINT@PUCC>
To: Mark Cathcart
Hi, Mark, thanks for all the contributions to the Gnorman Project!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: Thu, 6 Dec 90 14:05:30 GMT
From: "Mark Cathcart"
To: MAINT@PUCC.PRINCETON.EDU
I always recognise good fun when I see it, and things are tough enough that I can do with a good laugh from time to time ! ++Mark.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: Sat, 15 Dec 1990 23:16:52 EST
From: Melinda Varian <MAINT@PUCC>
To: David Gomberg <GOMBERG@UCSFVM>
Hi, I was downstairs making Christmas cookies when you sent your messages about Gnorman. I agree that it's great fun. When Neale first sent me a message asking if I thought it would be OK to put the append on VMSHARE, I laughed till I cried. This Lindsay is a very flamboyant fruit importer/exporter; I can just imagine how he's reacting.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: Sat, 15 Dec 90 22:03:20 PST
From: Dave Gomberg <GOMBERG@UCSFVM.BITNET>
To: Melinda Varian <MAINT@PUCC>
Fruit importer/exporter? Sounds like Dave! Check my VMSHARE append for why Gnorman sends so many cards. Love and a Great Christmas to you and Lee.
Dave
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Date: Tue, 18 Dec 90 12:48:19 EST
From: "J.S. Roman"
To: "Melinda Varian"
Subject: Gnorman
Is anyone (trying) to do any coordination of Gnorman's travels? If no one is, I will drop a card from sunny Endicott NY. If someone is, would you mind forwarding this letter to them, hopefully they would tell me when to send it.
Also, do you know how long Gnorman plans to be travelling? I will be going on vacation in (late) January, and if he is still gone, Gnorman might be sighted skiing in Vermont.
Thanks for volunteering to act as a router, for those of us who don't have direct access to VMSHARE.
John
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*** SENT 12/27/90 20:35:24 BY PU/MELINDA ***
MAIL 3630 TO $AS FROM: UV
To: $AS (Neale Ferguson) From: UV (Melvin Klassen) Subject: re: Gnorman conquest Date: Thu, 10 Jan 1991 20:01 EST
Just a nit to mention. Don't forget to place BOTH Victoria and Vancouver on his map. I purchased & mailed the card in Victoria.
P.S. I forgot to mention that the football game was "the Grey Cup", Canada's 75-year-old version of the USA's Super Bowl (XXV is later this month
*** SENT 01/10/91 20:04:16 BY UV/KLASSEN ***
MAIL 3832 TO $AS FROM: UR
Date: January 28, 1991, 18:13 EST
From: UR (Virginia Hetrick in sunny California)
To: $AS (Neale Ferguson)
I lost the fax number. Can you send it again, please? Also, what are the sizes of all the appropriate people (Lindsey, Boopsy, etc., Kate, Neale, etc.) so we can send you ones to wear later and Lindsey and Co. ones to wear now?
*** SENT 01/28/91 18:14:32 BY UR/VRH ***
MAIL 3849 TO $AS FROM: UR
Date: January 29, 1991, 13:29 EST
From: UR (Virginia Hetrick in sunny California)
To: $AS (Neale Ferguson)
How about if we split it so that you just pay for the ones that aren't covere by the 44 cents extra on each shirt? If we get 72 (which we must have in ord to order), there'll be $30.88. That's essentially about 3.1 shirts. So, how about we count that to the XXL shirts and you send something negotiable for t others? Since Graeme will be here at the end of March, getting him connected to Melissa to pick up the shirts seems like a good idea.
I will fax the front after the rates go down this evening.
I have no problem adding the other places since I don't yet have a definitive list of places to put on the back. Can you send that by Thursday?
vh
*** SENT 01/29/91 13:30:51 BY UR/VRH ***
Mail 4344 from UR on 03/05/91 at 19:18 - 8 lines.
MAIL 4344 TO $AS FROM: UR
The final count was 108 counting all yours plus mine and one for my mom. Impressive, huh? If I'm up to it, maybe we can do an updated one just before Gnorm leaves to go back Down Under. I'll be in Heidelberg, Lausanne, and Winchester next month, so you can expect more postcards. vh
*** SENT 03/05/91 19:18:52 BY UR/VRH ***
MAIL 4623 TO $AS FROM: $CA
To: $AS (Neale Ferguson)
From: $CA (Anne-Marie, McGill U)
Subject: hi!
Date: Thu, 21 Mar 1991 16:28 EST
How's everything ? It was nice to meet Gnorman and Gles in SF, too bad you weren't there with them! I have to admit they were much smaller than I expected. Nice colors! So, when do you plan to give them back ?
take care,
Anne-Marie
*** SENT 03/21/91 16:34:15 BY $CA ***
August 7, 1991 7:25PM
From: .PC (Pamela Christina) To: $AS (Neale Ferguson)
Hello Neale,
It would be wonderful to have comments from Australia. Thank you!
I will give your address to Cheryl and Jim who will send the ES/9000 survey package to you. Please feel free to send pubs comments at anytime to my id (I will pass them on to the right people).
Regards, Pam
P.S. I was glad to hear it's not to late for Gnorman cards. My friend Jennifer and I want to send one. We enjoyed reading of his adventures.
Pam Christina (.PC @ VMSHARE) IBM (DSD) Information Development Dept G86 P.O. Box 8010 Endicott, NY 13760 U.S.A.
MAIL 7360 TO $AS FROM: CUN
Hi Neale.
When I recently told a friend (raised in Australia) about the Great Gnorman Caper, she mentioned that garden dwarfs are generally despised there. Shoe also told about a stunt at a university where the students stole many dwarfs; it seemed that many of the owners refused to admit to owning the dwarfs, and so many were left unclaimed. Perhaps it would be interesting for those of us outside of Australia to hera more about the cultural aspects of this incredibly nifty practical joke.
(Here perhaps the corresponding piece of "Kitsch" is the pink flamingo garden bird. A friend of mine has a pair cast out of concrete with steel legs -- probably set into a concrete foundation hidden under the lawn so as to prevent the bird's removal at night -- but they are BEHIND his house so that no one is the wiser.)
(I will admit to having a concrete dwarf who supervises my workshop, but don't tell anyone. I also have a very nifty clock in the shape of a cat whose tail moves somewhat like a clock's pendulum and whose eyes move in the opposite direction, for balance, I would guess. Romney White has the same clock in his kitchen, but that is a super secret!!!)
Larry Chace, Cornell University
*** SENT 10/21/91 09:08:38 BY CUN/CHACE ***
MAIL 7640 TO $AS FROM: UR
Outstanding!
I'm keeping my fingers crossed that everything will work out.
They have been mostly behaving themselves. We had trouble keeping them out of the giraffe enclosure at the San Diego Zoo, and they were all over the bear on Bruin Walk at UCLA. ;-)
virginia
*** SENT 11/18/91 22:48:25 BY UR/VRH ***
Mail 7900 from $S1 on 12/23/91 at 14:27 - 13 lines.
Type, Keep, Delete, Reply, Print, Store, or Quit? . MAIL 7900 TO $AS FROM: $S1
To: $AS (Neale Ferguson) From: $S1 (Rich Chong) Subject: Happy Holidaze! Date: Mon, 23 Dec 1991 14:23 EST
Hi Neale, I wish you and your family some very happy holidays. Melissa Wanted me to note you that Gnorman and Gles are on their way home at this very moment! Any plans yet for attending any future SHAREs yet? Take care. rich
*** SENT 12/23/91 14:27:13 BY $S1 ***
This is all the Gnome related appends to the HUMOR forum:
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Append on 11/23/90 at 01:34 by Virginia Hetrick in sunny California:
I'd love to participate. We did a similar thing to a guy once. We got a person to send a postcard of scenic downtown Kiev and another person to send a postcard from Lima (Peru, that is). He's still wondering what's going on.
What's the address and what's the name of the troll? Does the troll travel with spice, kids, or significant other (just so we get the details straight). Also, this wasn't Brain's lawn you stole this from, was it? ;-)
virginia
*** APPENDED 11/23/90 01:34:21 BY UR/VRH ***
Append on 11/23/90 at 12:47 by Virginia Hetrick in sunny California:
Neale - I have the necessary information, so you won't need to append. Thank vh
*** APPENDED 11/23/90 12:47:21 BY UR/VRH ***
Append on 11/26/90 at 11:49 by Paul Russell / Indpls Life Ins Co
This trip wouldn't be complete without a stop at the home of the Greatest Spectacle in Racing. Give me the pertinent info, as described in Viginia's append, and I'll drop a card from the Indy 500. PDR
*** APPENDED 11/26/90 11:49:41 BY IND ***
Append on 11/26/90 at 14:30 by Bill Temps, First Chicago Corporation:
I can cover Chicago, Evanston, IL ... and St Thomas, in the U.S. Virgin Islands. I'm leaving tomorrow in the early a.m. Maybe Sir Gnome could return with a nice tan.
It would be a big help to have the address, of course. If I don't get anything else, I'll try sending it to you, Neale.
*** APPENDED 11/26/90 14:30:01 BY FNC/WHT3 ***
Append on 11/26/90 at 22:08 by Melinda Varian <BITNET: MAINT@PUCC>:
OK, everybody, the first postcard has just gone out:
Dear Lindsay, Boosy, Dan, Luke, Nick, and Tim:I'm sorry I didn't say goodbye before I left, but I was afraid you'd try to stop me. Sitting there under your letterbox for so long, seeing all those postcards arrive from your friends, was just too much for me. I finally had to go off to see the world for myself! But don't worry -- I'll be back when my money runs out. Gnorman Gnome
I'll append some further info from Neale below, to use for inspiration, but if you're not feeling inspired, I'm sure a simple "Wish you were here!" will do very nicely. (Postcard rate from the U.S. to Australia is $0.36, by the way.)
Virginia has promised Miami, Gainesville, and *Rio* and is also trying for Antarctica. Let's see who can top that. ;-)
Lee and I met Lindsay when we were in Australia and found him to be a delight (and just the sort of person who will really get a kick out of all of this).
Melinda
*** APPENDED 11/26/90 22:08:16 BY PU/MELINDA ***
Append on 11/26/90 at 22:41 by Melvin Klassen ( KLASSEN@UVVM.BITNET ):
G.G. was seen in the "Great White (wet?) North", watching the Grey Cup game under the dome, and may soon be sampling tea & crumpets at the Empress Hotel.
*** APPENDED 11/26/90 22:41:25 BY UV/KLASSEN ***
Append on 11/27/90 at 08:41 by Rob Winters - NASA HQ
You know the really *professional* way to do this is to ship the gnome in question to VMSHAREers near national monuments, sightseeing spots, etc., and to start mailing back PICTURES that include the gnome in the forground. I'll handle the Washington, D.C. area, if you want to escalate to this level.
How much does this thing weigh, anyway?
Regardless, the gnome's trip would not be complete without a visit to the world's most visited museum, the Smithsonian Institution's National Air and Space Museum. I go there most Tuesdays and Thursdays anyway.
Rob
P.S. Think about it. A good prank is worth any amount of shipping charges!
*** APPENDED 11/27/90 08:41:50 BY NAS/ROB ***
Append on 11/27/90 at 10:09 by Barry Leiba, LEIBA@WATSON
I'll take care of getting one sent from the United Nations HQ post office (which has its own stamps, *not* U.S. postage).
*** APPENDED 11/27/90 10:09:27 BY .BL ***
Append on 11/27/90 at 10:27 by Paul Russell / Indpls Life Ins Co
Our MVS guru is an amateur archaelogist and will be visiting the Yucatan in May. He offered to participate from there, if this thing stretches out that long. PDR
*** APPENDED 11/27/90 10:27:24 BY IND ***
Append on 11/27/90 at 10:37 by Nick Laflamme
Ah, now I know who the Gnome was I saw in Notre Dame's bookstore yesterday buying up basketball and (American) football souvenirs, not to mention a few postcards. I think he was also buying sunscreen; I wonder if he's going to the Orange Bowl on New Year's Day in Miami? Not that I'd see him down there, but friends of mine might. :-)
Gnick
*** APPENDED 11/27/90 10:37:36 BY UDM/NICK ***
Append on 11/27/90 at 10:41 by Peter Carrier, UNUM Life Insurance Co.:
OK, I'll byte, you want a postcard from the President of the U. S. of A.'s home town?
Peter (Used to spin donuts on what's now his front lawn, in a '52 Chev) Carri
*** APPENDED 11/27/90 10:41:20 BY UML/PETER ***
Append on 11/28/90 at 09:53 by Anne-Marie
I'll send a postcard from Montreal, and one from Orlando in 2 weeks. How's that ?
Anne-Marie
*** APPENDED 11/28/90 09:53:15 BY MUC/MARIE ***
Append on 11/28/90 at 12:12 by Tony Harminc - Ultramar:
I will arrange postcards from Toronto and Prague (my sister is there teaching English with 'Education for Democracy').
I don't want to be the Grinch, but may I suggest that everyone be very careful about passing Gnorman's address out to all and sundry. We will all be very sorry if we have another Craig Shergold fiasco here!
(Evidently Craig *still* gets thousands of cards every day, despite the family's pleas to stop.)
*** APPENDED 11/28/90 12:12:23 BY ULT/TONY ***
Append on 11/28/90 at 13:41 by Mark Cathcart - IBM UK Technical Support:
Well I'll take care of London and Nottinham (the home of Robin Hood and where I'm teaching TSO REXX this week and next), I could also send an IBM postcard from Basingstoke, its the Rye-Brook of England.
I should also be able to do Brussels over the next few weeks, but then "never mind the quality, feel the width" tours are closing down for Christmas.
Will Gnorman be away for Christmas ? Who is he spending it with ?
Mark (there's no place like Gnome) Cathcart
*** APPENDED 11/28/90 13:41:27 BY .MC ***
Append on 11/28/90 at 14:51 by Dr.A.P.(Tony) Conway and Alan Flavell:
Gnome request received and understood. No need for red faces - this is indeed Scotland, but neither Tony nor myself originate from here. Alan
*** APPENDED 11/28/90 14:51:44 BY _UG ***
Append on 11/28/90 at 22:40 by Donna Walker, VM New User Project
We'd be delighted to have Gnorman spend Christmas with us in Portland, Oregon. Mount Hood is nearby (as is what's left of Mount St. Helens). If Gnorman (or his family) are interested in geology and/or volcanoes, we could arrange for a "visit" to either or both of these! (Of course, he would have to like cats!) ;-) (I'm sure Tails wouldn't mind too much, eh?)
We'd also be delighted to SHARE the San Diego Zoo and/or other Balboa Park attractions in the days after Christmas.
While Portland's "Washington Park Zoo" is perhaps not as well-known as San Diego's, it was in the early 60's the home of at least one of the first elephants (I don't remember which kind!) born in captivity.
"The Gold-Walkers" (a/k/a Donna & Michael Walker and Gabe Goldberg)
*** APPENDED 11/28/90 22:40:13 BY $NU ***
Append on 11/29/90 at 13:50 by Rob Winters - NASA HQ
A post card from Gnorman is going in the mail today. The front is a photo of the Air & Space Museum, with the Capitol in the background. The text is:
G'Day,
Nasty place, this. Too many town houses! It's winter, too! Imagine that in December! Found a good pub, though, better that the little house. My new Yank mates buy me drinks 'cuz I told 'em I belong to Paul Hogan! Black & Tans aren't half bad, but the Foster's is a bit tinny.
Home Soonest. No worries.
Gnorman
*** APPENDED 11/29/90 13:50:31 BY NAS/ROB ***
Append on 11/29/90 at 15:24 by Rob Winters - NASA HQ
Shouldn't Gnorman return in a box plastered with stickers from all over the world? I could send a D.C. one, and I have luggage check tags on my luggage marked San Juan and St. Thomas.
Rob (anything worth doing is worth running into the ground) Winters
*** APPENDED 11/29/90 15:24:30 BY NAS/ROB ***
Append on 11/29/90 at 20:47 by Eric Thomas
Regarding the Gnorman story, you don't really have to ship it around the world to get pictures of the gnome standing next to well-known monuments :-) All that is needed is for his present "host" to shoot a bunch of slides featuring Gnorman on a well lit, uniformly white background, ideally on an overcast day so that there is no shadow on the gnome's face and you don't have to worry about matching the angle of the sun on the final picture. There should be pictures with the gnome on either side and at different distances from the camera, in order to make it easier to "sandwich" with the monument slides (ie you want slides with a small Gnorman on the left, a medium Gnorman on the right, etc). You then ship the slides to someone in the US who will collect slides of famous monuments/landscapes from everyone, sandwich them with the appropriate Gnorman slide, and rephotograph the result on print film (using a low-contrast film like VPS for instance) to make an album that can then be mailed back to Gnorman's astonished owner :-)
This is still a lot of work, though, especially if you get slides which require masking (*gulp*) rather than sandwiching, but it allows people to use old pictures and not to worry about packaging and shipping.
Eric
*** APPENDED 11/29/90 20:47:50 BY +ET ***
Append on 11/30/90 at 15:09 by Paul Russell / Indpls Life Ins Co
Eric has a great idea about the slides! I don't have the equipment or the expertise to serve as the 'collater', but will be glad to provide slides of various 'attractions' in Central Indiana.
Is anyone in the Chattanooga area reading this? Perhaps Gnorman could make a stop at Rock City to visit relatives, and come away with family photos.
PDR
*** APPENDED 11/30/90 15:09:23 BY IND ***
Append on 12/01/90 at 12:15 by Eric Thomas
The minimum equipment would be a couple re-usable slide mounts (most glass mounts won't be suitable), a loupe, a backlit table (or whatever they are called nowadays - a piece of white translucent plastic with a lamp behind it), a lot of time, and something you can duplicate a slide with (typically a 1:1 macro lens, slide duplicator accessory and a TTL flash). The latter is unfortunately not very common gear, but you *might* be able to find a lab that can make negs from slides without having to open the mount. I could volunteer to make the dupes but you would then have to find enough Gnorman slides of the right type for each picture, ie you won't be able to select a Gnorman slide, collate it, duplicate it, and re-use it for another picture. Mailing a delicate fine-tuned, glassless-mounted "sandwich" slide overseas would also require some serious packaging.
Eric
*** APPENDED 12/01/90 12:15:02 BY +ET ***
Append on 12/01/90 at 18:00 by Melinda Varian <BITNET: MAINT@PUCC>:
Virginia's first two Gnorman Gnotes (thanks to Melissa Fowler for the transcription).
"Well Lindsay, Gnorman asked me to write you and let you know that he's okay. Even through everything with the tractor trailer, the only thing wrong is that he's temporarily lost the use of his right hand. We hooked up yesterday on a flight from Newark, NJ, and tomorrow we're flying on to Rio. I'll keep you posted on Gnorman's progress as long as we're travelling together." Signed - Alex
"Gnorman says you'd like this hotel in South Beach; it's only 2 doors from a bar that serves Fosters. I took Gnorman on at darts last night. He didn't do too well playing left handed. Today, we're going to the Keys to see some Stone Crabs, a close relative of Gnorman's. Then we leave for Rio at 10 O'clock. Gnorman is a great guy..." Signed - Alex
*** APPENDED 12/01/90 18:00:54 BY PU/MELINDA ***
Append on 12/03/90 at 10:50 by Paul Russell / Indpls Life Ins Co
Great idea with the hand! I've been wondering what, if anything, could be done about so many different hand-writings. PDR
*** APPENDED 12/03/90 10:50:49 BY IND ***
Append on 12/03/90 at 10:55 by Paul Russell / Indpls Life Ins Co
Just wondering - should someone be tracking Gnorman's travels, so that he doesn't bounce around too much, or is this one of those "let's take the first plane out of here, no matter where it's going" kind of trips?
*** APPENDED 12/03/90 10:55:14 BY IND ***
Append on 12/03/90 at 14:21 by Rob Winters - NASA HQ
I think that the negative or slide sandwiching concept is going to be quite a bit of expense and bother, with 'National Enquirer cover' results at best. (Of course, they might be pretty funny for that very reason.) I say, either ship the old boy out for real, or drop the photo idea. He's only a foot tall. How much can he possibly weigh... er, I know, I know,... possibly a lot! I suppose there's the possibility of damage to Gnorman to consider as well... like a *real* broken right arm.
*** APPENDED 12/03/90 14:21:30 BY NAS/ROB ***
Append on 12/03/90 at 19:46 by Rich Chong
That's easy, his arm is broken so we all have to write for him. As for boppin around the different cities, aren't Gnomes possesed with magical powers of some sort? |-)
*** APPENDED 12/03/90 19:46:06 BY $S2 ***
Append on 12/04/90 at 14:42 by Neale Ferguson - Sydney Australia:
The first postcard has arrived!!!! Gnorman's Gnew York postcard arrived in yesterday's mail. The accusations have started flying as to whom is responsible. A postcard from Hong Kong is expected within two days which should throw him right off the track (one of the neighbours visits Hong Kong every month so he'll get the blame!). The text of the HK card (sent by a TAB'er) goes along the following lines:
Dear Dad, I cannot believe how good the shopping is here. They even have clothes that fit my size! I am enjoying the food too!
Your loving son... Gnorman
For some additional background material - Lindsay is organising a New Year's Eve street party.
Neale. (And now the real fun begins!)
*** APPENDED 12/04/90 14:42:04 BY $AS/NEALE ***
Append on 12/04/90 at 18:57 by Virginia Hetrick in sunny California:
Why is everybody talking about this obsolete technology of duped slides, etc. Haven't you heard of scanners, etc.? For the first 33 postcards I receive (Rio's already taken care of and so are Copenhagen and Munich), I am willing to scan the postcard and stick a picture of Gnorman in the middle (33 plus the three I already have is a convenient roll of film). If Neale can send me several provocative prints of Gnorman, then they can be appropriately posed in the postcards. From two trials, the best things seem to be statues and similar phenomena; however the one I tried of Gnorman on Corcovado wasn't too bad, but he looked better on the beach in his string bikini.
virginia
*** APPENDED 12/04/90 18:57:42 BY UR/VRH ***
Append on 12/05/90 at 10:18 by Anne-Marie, McGill University,
(picture of Old Montreal under lots of snow)
Dear Dad, You wouldn't believe how much snow there is here ! They got 8 inches in one day !!! That's a lot for someone my size. I'm doing like the Quebecois: drinking good St-Ambroise beer ( = antifreeze you know ...).
miss you, your loving gnome, Gnorman
PS: learning french too !!!
*** APPENDED 12/05/90 10:18:49 BY $CA ***
Append on 12/05/90 at 11:56 by Rich Chong
Digitizing pics like Virginia's idea would also allow easier adjustments in color balance, lighting, & scaling, and would also allow more creative editing so that Gnorm wont look like something between 2 sheets of glass. (eg Gnorm skiing down some slopes, or poking his head out of something).
*** APPENDED 12/05/90 11:56:27 BY $S2 ***
Append on 12/05/90 at 12:00 by Tony Harminc - Ultramar:
I hear a rumour that Gnorman went fishing somewhere in Atlantic Canada and caught a good-sized salmon!
I also suspect that he may have travelled in the baggage compartment on at least one plane.
*** APPENDED 12/05/90 12:00:42 BY ULT/TONY ***
Append on 12/05/90 at 16:01 by Paul Russell / Indpls Life Ins Co
Virginia: Is it safe to assume that you will be using the postcards to create a photo album, as was intended with the slide-sandwich idea? If so, I will send several from this area, and let you pick and choose what you want to use.
PDR
*** APPENDED 12/05/90 16:01:41 BY IND ***
Append on 12/05/90 at 16:25 by Neale Ferguson - Sydney Australia:
More cards from Gnorman have arrived! Gnorman has written from Hong Kong Twice from Washington DC and once from Rhode Island (who sent this one?). Lindsay is bewildered - he suspects everyone. I have assured him that it wasn't me. Thankfully, the HK postcard has really stumped him. I can't wait for some European/UK cards - he'll really be puzzled! All his family are enjoying this immensely. Neale.
*** APPENDED 12/05/90 16:25:40 BY $AS/NEALE ***
Append on 12/05/90 at 21:25 by Virginia Hetrick in sunny California:
Yup, the idea with the scanner is that you can blend input from several sources into one output picture with little or no noticeable boundaries. Since one roll of film is 36 pictures, that seems like a good number.
Mail should shortly arrive from Rio and also from Switzerland (courtesy of some friends at CERN). Additionally, there should be at least one from Bratislava and several from Germany. Finally, the week before Christmas one will get sent from Nashville, Tennessee, and another from Austin, Texas.
vh
*** APPENDED 12/05/90 21:25:20 BY UR/VRH ***
Append on 12/06/90 at 07:16 by Mark Cathcart - IBM UK Technical Support:
Well, It's lunch time on the TSO/E REXX course I'm teaching so I went out and bought a tasteless postcard of Nottingham with a cartoon of Robin and his "Merry" (??) Men on the front.
I wrote the following and posted it AirMail.
Dear All,
This is great, I've never had so much fun. Last night I went to a medieval banquet and had dinner with Robin Hood and maid Marion :-)
I had an invite to visit the Queen, so I am off to London, maybe I could invite her back for a garden party at our place ?
Gnorm'
I have a postcard of Buckingham Palace which I'll send when I get to London next week. The good news for the postcard, but bad news for my wife, is that I'm going to France on Tuesday... Gnorman cards will follow...
"...dinner with Robin and *maid* Marion" I hope my boss doesn't see this when it shows up internally at IBM ;-)
*** APPENDED 12/06/90 07:16:28 BY .MC ***
Append on 12/07/90 at 21:14 by Melissa A. Fowler
I will also contribute to Gnorman's trip when I visit my parents in Sharpsburg, Ga. I will also see if there are some 1996 Olympic cards of any sort and send them from Atlanta.
Melissa A. Fowler UCLA
*** APPENDED 12/07/90 21:14:20 BY UR/MAF ***
Append on 12/08/90 at 12:02 by Lee Stewart - IBM Boulder
Gnorman will be going skiiing in the Colorado Rockies in the next few days. I hope he doesn't break anything on the slopes...
Lee (This sure is fun!) Stewart
*** APPENDED 12/08/90 12:02:22 BY .LS ***
Append on 12/09/90 at 22:16 by Thomas P. Owens
I'm surprised that only Gnick picked up on the requirement that Gnorman visit GNome, Alaska. We shall see what can be done. tpo
*** APPENDED 12/09/90 22:16:55 BY UNO/TPO ***
Append on 12/11/90 at 07:24 by Mike Armstrong
Gnorman toured Disney World yesterday, and fell in love with Snow White, who was attracted to him for some unexplained reason...
*** APPENDED 12/11/90 07:24:44 BY +MA ***
Append on 12/12/90 at 12:54 by Dave Crockett - IBM, DFSMS/VM Design:
Gnorman has been seen running from a coyote in the Saguaro National Monument near Tucson. He escaped by climbing a cactus....ouch!
*** APPENDED 12/12/90 12:54:13 BY .DC ***
Append on 12/12/90 at 16:03 by Neale Ferguson - Sydney Australia:
More Gnorman cards have arrived! I haven't all the details (I'll go visiting today or tomorrow) but so far he has about 10-15 cards. The latest batch are from -
Scotland Notre Dame (Indy) Miami (2)
We have a colour scanner at the TAB, so I'll borrow the postcards and create a collage of Gnorman's gnotes. It'll be in .PIC format and I'll send it on a floppy to a central point (yet to be nominated - volunteers?). I'll do this sometime in early January. I haven't got the Gnorman slides done yet (have to borrow my Dad's camera).
Neale (keep'em comin'!).
*** APPENDED 12/12/90 16:03:38 BY $AS/NEALE ***
Append on 12/13/90 at 07:00 by Gerhard Rentschler ( ZRSL DS0RUS1I EARN ):
Gnorman visited Germany, the home country of Garden Gnomes! My colleague Barbara and I met him when we walked through the Christmas market in Stuttgart. Because it was very cold we had a cup of "Gluehwein" together (mulled claret according to my dictionary). He told us that he came here to forget his unresponded love to Snow White. But, alas, here is snow everywhere. He would like to visit his nephew Jakob Zwerg and his wife Luise, but unfortunately he forgot the address. A card is on the way from Stuttgart to Australia.
Gerhard Rentschler University of Stuttgart Computing Center (ZRSL @ DS0RUS1I @ EARN)
>>> REVISED 12/13/90 07:09:33 BY _SU/GERHARD <<<
*** APPENDED 12/13/90 07:00:22 BY _SU/GERHARD ***
Append on 12/13/90 at 12:35 by Joe Morris / The MITRE Corporation:
For Gnorman: what church would he attend on Christmas? Anglican, I expect.. he might be impressed by the just-completed National Cathedral here.
Has Gnorman ever been to Ayres Rock? Any details of a visit there he could relate? Also, just where do Aussies go to see the Rock..."to Ayres Rock", "to the rock (or Rock?)?", or "take a detour on a trip through beautiful downtown Alice Springs to see the Rock"?
Joe Morris
*** APPENDED 12/13/90 12:35:06 BY MTW/JOE ***
Append on 12/15/90 at 19:28 by Dave Gomberg, UC San Francisco
Following text has just gone out on a very slightly racy and racist card from San Francisco Chinatown (features presumably oriental lady with face behind a fan and dressed in skimpy black lingerie):
Dear Lindsay et al:Gnorman's right hand is still a little gimpy, so I am writing for him: "Boy, last time I will buy one of those cheap air tickets! No sooner do I arrive in one city than they whisk me off to another. Some bleedin' maximum stay allowance! But having a great time." Gnorman by DaveGomberg
*** APPENDED 12/15/90 19:28:25 BY UCS/DAVE ***
Append on 12/19/90 at 06:09 by Mark Cathcart - IBM UK Technical Support:
The Gnorman saga continues: Unfortunately we were not able to make it to France because bad weather caused the cancellation of the ferry. Still, never mind. He visited with the Royal Family and sent a family portrait postcard and then went on to a typical IBM town, Basingstoke. From there he sent the most boring postcard he could find.
He managed to get a lift with somebody to a place called St.Albans where he got together with some distant relatives, they had a great party and the following appeared in the local paper...
Gnomes of all shapes and sizes caught a Park Street family unawares this weekend by invading their garden in the middle of the night!Tony Stevens was woken at 1.30am by the sound of his doorbell ringing.
And when he opened the door Mr Stevens was greeted by not one, but 16 gnomes !
'It was all a bit silly,' Mr Stevens admitted, 'But someone, somewhere is crying their eyes out because their gnome is gone.'
Mr Stevens has promised to look after the little friends over the festive season and is keeping them in his shed until they are claimed by their rightful owners.
Anyone who fears their garden friends have been gnome-napped should contact the police on (44) 727-276122.
The article was accompanied by a picture of 7 of the sorriest looking gnomes I have seen in a long time. I sent a copy of this and an article+ photograph from another paper, who's best quote was "Tony, who rang the police, said 'I though it was a bit trivial to bother them with, but they seemed to take it seriously as two of them turned up.'"
An accompanying note told them not to worry as Gnorman had managed to escape before the police arrived and that he be in touch soon !
*** APPENDED 12/19/90 06:09:41 BY .MC ***
Append on 12/20/90 at 00:15 by Virginia Hetrick in sunny California:
And, speaking of gnomes, Monday night on Murphy Brown (dunno if it makes it downunder) Miles Silverburg knocked over a whole bunch of gnomes in a drugsto across from the FYI studios and decapitated them
In honor of Gnorman's deceased relatives, I wore my Murphy Brown t-shirt to work today........ ;-)
Merry Christmas and Happy Chanukah Gnorman|
virginia
*** APPENDED 12/20/90 00:15:35 BY UR/VRH ***
Append on 12/21/90 at 11:14 by Stuart McRae of Soft-Switch/Systems + Telecoms
Sorry, it took me a week to get a chance to append this, but last Friday I was writing my Christmas cards and realised the Gnorman had not sent one home. The problem was it was long past last posting date, but one of our salesman was flying out to Australia so we wrote a Christmas card from the Royal Botanic Gardens in Kew, London. The card had the following note inside:
Dear family,Gnorman will get some winter Sun in Egypt over new year.Strewth! I've been so busy rushing around that I think I forgot to send you a Christmas Card! Fortunately, one of my new mates is coming home tomorrow, so he will post this from Perth.
The Poms are really fed up with what we've done to their cricketers. Keep it up!
Kew Gardens was great, but I did not meet the Princess of Wales! And there was even more snow. Where are you, Snow White?
I met a couple of poms who are coming over after Christmas for the cricket tests, so if you meet a bloke called 'Goose' with a friend called Jill, buy them a tube of Fosters in the Little House for me!
GG
Stuart
*** APPENDED 12/21/90 11:14:16 BY _ST/STUART ***
Append on 12/21/90 at 14:20 by Paul Russell / Indpls Life Ins Co
Mailing the following today:
On a picture postcard featuring the main straight-away at the Inday 500, an race day, with cars, the crowd, and the Goodyear Blimp:
Dear Family:I really enjoyed the ride around the track, but I don't know why they wouldn't let me drive? I miss you all, but I must find Snow White!
Love, Gnorman
On a picture postcard featuring the exterior of The Children's Museum of Indianapolis, the largest and 4th oldest children's museum in the world:
Dear Lindsay, Boosy, and boys:And finally, on a picture postcard featuring an interior shot of Market Square Arena during the state high school basketball finals:I've been going around in circles today - first at the '500' track, then on the carousel here. Daniel, Luke, and Nicholas would love this place - it has the world's largest collection of toy trains. Love to all!
Gnorman
Dear Daniel:Merry Christmas to all!This is THE place for basketball! Indiana is called "The Hoosier State", and basketball is so popular that it's called "Hoosier Hysteria". And they even let short people play!
Stormin' Gnorman
>>> REVISED 12/21/90 14:34:08 BY IND <<<
>>> REVISED 12/21/90 15:28:31 BY IND <<<
*** APPENDED 12/21/90 14:20:34 BY IND ***
Append on 12/26/90 at 18:14 by Neale Ferguson - Sydney Australia:
NEWS FLASH... NEWS FLASH... NEWS FLASH...
Lindsay has been silly enough to acquire another Gnome called Gles. Gles was in the backyard is now missing inaction (as opposed to missing in action). Film at 11.
In other news cards have been received from Disneyworld, London (via Perth!), and Hawaii!!
Gnorman and Gles will be appearing in person in Los Angeles this January. Would they be eligible for SHARE in San Francisco?
*** APPENDED 12/26/90 18:14:48 BY $AS/NEALE ***
Append on 01/03/91 at 18:30 by Neale Ferguson - Sydney Australia:
NOTE GNORMAN has been created describing the 26 cards received so far. Neale.
*** APPENDED 01/03/91 18:30:46 BY $AS/NEALE ***
Append on 01/05/91 at 15:59 by Bill Temps, First Chicago Corporation:
Glad the St Thomas card made it; I was beginning to think I should have posted a backup card. I also sent one from Golden, Colorado.
*** APPENDED 01/05/91 15:59:02 BY FNC/WHT3 ***
Append on 01/10/91 at 15:22 by Neale Ferguson - Sydney Australia:
Three more Gnorman cards have been received. I will upload the details when I get back from a week in the good old US of A. One of the cards was the newspaper clippings from the UK regarding the Gnome gnapping. When Lindsay read the article he then proceeded to ring the number mentioned. He got on to the police station in the town but could not talk as he was just about to go into a bout of hysterical laughter.
Neale.
*** APPENDED 01/10/91 15:22:35 BY $AS/NEALE ***
Append on 01/10/91 at 16:25 by Neale Ferguson - Sydney Australia:
In honour of Gnorman's adventures, I am thinking of getting some 'Gnorman World Tour' T-shirts made (in the same fashion as those featuring rock groups and the places the visited). Is there any interest in this?
Neale.
*** APPENDED 01/10/91 16:25:50 BY $AS/NEALE ***
Append on 01/10/91 at 16:52 by Paul Russell / Indpls Life Ins Co
Go for it, Neale! If it's not too unreasonable, I'll take one, and I'm fairly certain that a couple of our MVS folks will do the same.
PDR
*** APPENDED 01/10/91 16:52:32 BY IND ***
Append on 01/10/91 at 18:14 by Donna Walker, VM New User Project
oooooh! Absolutely! And I suspect Michael would enjoy one also (children's large). Count me in!
Donna Walker
*** APPENDED 01/10/91 18:14:32 BY $NU ***
Append on 01/11/91 at 08:48 by Peter Carrier, UNUM Life Insurance Co.:
Count me in for an XXL, Neale. I'll really enjoy explaining it to the curiou
Peter Carrier
*** APPENDED 01/11/91 08:48:24 BY UML/PETER ***
Append on 01/11/91 at 10:17 by Anne-Marie
me too !
Anne-Marie
*** APPENDED 01/11/91 10:17:28 BY MUC/MARIE ***
Append on 01/11/91 at 11:32 by Stuart McRae of Soft-Switch/Systems + Telecoms
The following postcard was mailed from Egypt over the new year. It showed a picture of a pottery model of a blue hippopotamus, and various egyptian views, including the pyramids. It is in my girl friends handwriting so it is different from the Christmas Card I sent.
The parts shown as '...' were actually Egyptian hieroglyphs (my girl friend is studying hieroglyphics so they are reasonably accurate, remembering that only the consonants are representented in hieroglyphics). However, unfortunately current national language support is inadequate for me to include them on the conference.
... (Lindsay), ... (Boosy), ... (Dan), ... (Luke), ... (Nick), ... (Tim), Well, at last I've got away from the snow to somewhere hot. I think I'll delay the trip to Babylon until next holiday - I'm not getting any nearer to Iraq than this. Hope the street party went well. Happy New Year ... (Gnorman)
The last hieroglyphic is actually a joke for any Egyptologists who see it, it is the symbols for 'Nome', the name for one of the administrative districts in ancient Egypt.
>>> REVISED 01/11/91 11:36:45 BY _ST/STUART <<<
*** APPENDED 01/11/91 11:32:07 BY _ST/STUART ***
Revised on 01/11/91 at 11:36 by Stuart McRae of Soft-Switch/Systems + Telecom
Revised append dated 01/11/91 at 11:32:07.
*** REVISED 01/11/91 11:36:47 BY _ST/STUART ***
Append on 01/11/91 at 15:03 by Janet Gobeille
Neale, world tour t-shirts are a grand idea. I'd love one too. Will that make us Gnorman Gnroupies?
*** APPENDED 01/11/91 15:03:19 BY .JG ***
Append on 01/11/91 at 23:31 by Donna Walker, VM New User Project
Gnorman Gnroupies ... hmmm ... dunno about that. But if Lindsay ever does figure out what happened, we might grant him success in the Gnorman Conquest.
(*Sorry 'bout that ... I couldn't resist*) ;-)
Donna Walker
*** APPENDED 01/11/91 23:31:25 BY $NU ***
Append on 01/13/91 at 21:31 by Melinda Varian <BITNET: MAINT@PUCC>:
Latest word from Neale: Gnorman has arrived in the U.S. (for real) and caused a bit of a stir going through airport security in L.A.
*** APPENDED 01/13/91 21:31:33 BY PU/MELINDA ***
Append on 01/14/91 at 04:08 by Dick Gardner, 703-664-5123:
Would definitely like a Gnorman T-Shirt. Size XL. Let us know how much and where to send $$ when you finalize things.
*** APPENDED 01/14/91 04:08:46 BY $C2 ***
Append on 01/14/91 at 08:40 by Barry Leiba, LEIBA@WATSON,
I suggest that requests for t-shirts be sent as notes to Neale rather than as appends here.
*** APPENDED 01/14/91 08:40:40 BY .BL ***
Append on 01/14/91 at 13:40 by Mark Cathcart - IBM UK Technical Support:
As a contributor of 3 cards and a letter I'd certainly be interested, can you get VMSHARE onto the T-shirt somewhere ? It would be nice to see it as the 1st event or something like that.
*** APPENDED 01/14/91 13:40:42 BY .MC ***
Append on 01/14/91 at 14:18 by Stuart McRae of Soft-Switch/Systems + Telecoms
I would certainly take a large Gnorman-shirt. Stuart
*** APPENDED 01/14/91 14:18:20 BY _ST/STUART ***
Append on 01/14/91 at 14:25 by Bill Temps, First Chicago Corporation:
How about a picture of Gnorman as the Gnomon a sundial?
*** APPENDED 01/14/91 14:25:36 BY FNC/WHT3 ***
Append on 01/14/91 at 16:58 by Jay Koonz - TIMEX -
Sign me up for an XL.
*** APPENDED 01/14/91 16:58:15 BY TMC/JAY ***
Append on 01/16/91 at 12:43 by Lee Stewart - IBM Boulder
I'd take a large...
Lee Stewart - in snowy Boulder..
*** APPENDED 01/16/91 12:43:55 BY .LS ***
Append on 01/16/91 at 13:21 by John P. Hartmann, IBM FSC Copenhagen, Denmark:
Gnorman was in Copenhagen saying hello to his sister who sits on a rock in the harbour. I rode with him on the train to Odense, but I think he forgot to send a postcard from there. Pity. j.
*** APPENDED 01/16/91 13:21:03 BY .JH ***
Append on 01/17/91 at 09:28 by Mike Armstrong
One large, please...
*** APPENDED 01/17/91 09:28:22 BY +MA ***
Gnorman and his friends arrived in Los Angeles today safe and sound. The subject of T-shirts came up and I will get the t-shirts made on this side of the ocean with Gneale's approval of the design. The price will be appende here next week after we get the price quote from the printers. The present design calls for a front featuring Gnorman on a cable car (after all, he'll be in San Francisco next month) with lettering saying Gnorman's All-Around the World Tour, 1990-1991. When Gneale gets back to Australia, he'll send me an updated list of all the places whence postcards have arrived and we'll put the list on the back. Per Mark's request, I figured out a small ad to put on the side of the cable car so that VMSHARE will be on the shirt.
If you appended to MEMO HUMOR with a T-shirt request, that request has been moved over to this memo. If you didn't put a size (Janet and Paul), please put in the size you want. They come in S, M, L, XL, XXL, and probably XXXL. The XXL and XXXL shirts will probably be extra (they usually are $1.00 more from the printers).
We must have a minimum of 72 shirts ordered to get a hint of a reasonable price. So, I'll also put a note out on VIPSHARE about the adventures of Gnorman.
Delivery will be be in San Francisco at SHARE 76 at SCIDS on Sunday night nea the welcome booth booth in the No Smoking area.
When I put up the note about the cost, I'll let you know what to do about paying.
v (I favor the paradigm requiring the largest, fastest computer!) h
*** APPENDED 01/21/91 15:08:12 BY UR/VERONICA ***
Append on 01/23/91 at 15:38 by Neale Ferguson - Sydney Australia:
Latest Gnorman update. New postcards have been received from:
More on the 'phone call to Watford police station. Lindsay actually talked to the duty officer and controller at the station and couldn't convince them he was calling from Australia about a world travelling Gnome. Eventually he had to hang up as he was in risk of losing bladder control.
Neale.
*** APPENDED 01/23/91 15:38:28 BY $AS/NEALE ***
Append on 01/24/91 at 21:33 by John Lemkelde - Pa. Blue Shield - 717-763-6555
Neale, I must confess, I am the one who sent the card from World Famous Three Mile Island(!). Gnorman didn't stay long, but he also made a quick trip to Chocolate Town U.S.A (Hershey Pa.) He enjoyed both visits very much.
John Lemkelde - Pa. Blue Shield - 717-763-6555
Append on 01/28/91 at 17:54 by Virginia Hetrick in sunny California:
Facts about Gnormtee:
The shirts will be $10.00 (they actually cost $9.56 but I figure the $0.46 contibutes to getting one each for all the appropriate Australian bodies). XXL and XXXL shirts will be an additional $1.00 (total $11.00) each.
Shirts will be delivered in San Francisco on Sunday night except for people who will not be in San Francisco. The postage for mailing them is $1.54 at the new postal rate (effective next week in the US).
As soon as we have the minimum order of 72 placed, we will put an address out here to mail the checks sent to. Since checks must be received no later than Thursday, 7 February, in order for us to place the order on 8 February we must know who all wants shirts by noon, this Thursday, 31 January.
If you are from outside the US and will be at SHARE 76, please bring cash on Sunday night. This is the LONE, ONLY, SOLE exception to sending checks in advance.
If you are from outside the US and will not be at SHARE 76, I am trying to work out something to deposit the European ones while I am at SEAS (since I'll be coming and going through Heathrow, at least as things stand now). I will let you know what to do about sending money.
The Australian ones will get mailed from SF.
Now, the description of the shirts:
Hanes Beefy T, white, with a four color logo saying Gnorman's All-around the World Tour, 1990-1991, on the front and a list of places where postcards have been sent from on the back.
vh
>>> REVISED 01/28/91 18:11:07 BY UR/VRH <<<
*** APPENDED 01/28/91 17:54:47 BY UR/VRH ***
Append on 01/30/91 at 08:50 by Bridget Rutty, SYSBXR@SUVM
Gnorman is attending the Winterfest here in Syracuse. Winterfest is a two week festival celebrating winter, but since we don't have enough snow, the opening event was an indoor rodeo. Gnorman thinks that's a bit peculiar, but he enjoyed it. He especially liked the clowns and the cowgirl barrel racers.
*** APPENDED 01/30/91 08:50:19 BY SU/BRIDGET ***
Append on 02/08/91 at 15:59 by Virginia Hetrick in sunny California:
I have received checks or cash from:
Bostwick, Curtis Brodock, Gary Campbell, Roger Chong, Rich Christina, Pam Ewing, Scott Farrachio, Joe ("don't waste water, row") Fowler, Melissa Gardner, Dick Gobeille, Janet Kern, Thomas Klensk, T.J. Koonz, Jay LaFlamme, Nick Lemkelde, John Leon, Rod Lieba, Barry McConaghy, Martha Ross, Paul Russell, Paul Rutty, Bridget Savit, Jeff Stewart, Lee Taylor, Kent Temps, Bill Voight, John Wasgatt, George Wilk, Jeff Williams, Will Winters, Rob Young, Paula Zimelis, Marty (L)
I have not received anything from the following (yes, I know some of you are no resident in the US, but I don't have that particular version of the list here):
Armstrong, Mike Carrier, Peter Cathcart, Mark Causey, Jim Coutoure Descher, Roger Edborg, Dave Greenberg, Alan Harding, Mike Harminc, Tony Hartmann, John Hoag, Marty Hunsberger, Peter Klensh, Tom Marcoux, Marie Mattes, Scott McRae, Stuart Monitto, Tony Owens, Tom Pugh Rentschler, Gerhard Smith, Phil (H.) Strong, Kevin Suchecki, Mark Timmerman, Martin Walker, Donna Williams, Harry Wyamn, Greg
Stuart McRae has kindly volunteered to be the UK dispenser and to collect shirts to be posted to y'all over there. I will bring the European, non-UK shirts to SHARE Europe in April. I think that takes care of everybody except the Canadians who will be unable to come to SF. If there are any of those (which I don't think there are) in the list above, would you please append so we can make arrangements to get yours sent?
We're presently in hold until we see what today's mail brings. If we have enough today, then we're in business. We have enough..........
vh
>>> REVISED 02/08/91 20:37:19 BY UR/VRH <<<
*** APPENDED 02/08/91 15:59:18 BY UR/VRH ***
This memo has been removed since the shirts are going into their baggies RIGHT NOW! See you guys on Sunday night near the Welcome Committee stand in the No Smoking section. I expect that I will be there from about when SCIDS opens until around 7:45 or 8 and again from 10:30 to 11pm. If you are from out of the country, please bring U.S. CASH to pay for your shirt.
Second alternative for picking them up is to catch me just before General Session in the middle of the front of the main room (right in front of the podium area). I will try to arrive there about 20 minutes before General Session. This is ONLY IF YOU'VE ALREADY PAID.
If you can't make any of these opportunities, please leave a note in my mailbox in headquarters (it will have a green label and be toward the leftmos side of the mailboxes) with your name, hotel and room number. I will try to connect with you Monday night.
I'm outta here, so don't ask questions until you see me, please......;-)
vh
*** UPDATED 02/21/91 14:29:36 BY UR/VRH ***
Append on 03/12/91 at 19:29 by Tony Harminc - Ultramar:
Got a phone message from a fellow in our accounting department I'd never heard of today - his name is Norman Gomes. Somehow when I saw it I couldn't help thinking of a certain round-the-world tour...
*** APPENDED 03/12/91 19:29:49 BY ULT/TONY ***
Append on 03/20/91 at 17:29 by Paul Russell / Indpls Life Ins Co
BTW, where is Gnorman now? Did he return home, remain in SF, or embark on yet another adventure?
PDR
*** APPENDED 03/20/91 17:29:06 BY IND/PDR ***
Append on 03/20/91 at 20:13 by Neale Ferguson - Sydney Australia:
Those who met Gnorman in SF could they append their thoughts/observations/ experiences here for the record?
Neale.
*** APPENDED 03/20/91 20:13:42 BY $AS/NEALE ***
Append on 03/21/91 at 09:03 by Barry Leiba, LEIBA@WATSON
I thought Gnorman was cute. He had a funny accent, though. At first I mistook him for Eric Thomas, but then I noticed that he (Gnorman) didn't have a camera.
*** APPENDED 03/21/91 09:03:10 BY .BL ***
Append on 03/21/91 at 18:12 by Tony Harminc - Ultramar:
Prague just arrived ? Amazing - it was mailed before Christmas! Slow boat or what ?
*** APPENDED 03/21/91 18:12:31 BY ULT/TONY ***
Append on 03/21/91 at 21:16 by Melissa A. Fowler
Gnorman and Gles are camping out in my apartment for a while. (I think they are having parties during the day while I am at work!). Gnorman will soon embark on a trip to New York with me, where he will hopefully find passage to Princeton. (Serge, I don't think you know about this, yet!)
They will hopefully make it to Chicago, then return home to their garden in Sydney.
Melissa
*** APPENDED 03/21/91 21:16:36 BY UR/MAF ***
Append on 04/07/91 at 20:40 by Tony Harminc - Ultramar:
I took the cat to the vet today, and since it was the first shorts & t-shirt weather day of the year, I wore my Gnorman World Tour shirt.
The vet immediately commented on it, saying that she had read all about Gnorm in the paper recently. I suspect she had read another, similar story, but she was quite sure the Gnome's Gname was Gnorman.
(There was a fellow at the vet trying to get the paperwork settled to send his two cats to California. I sounded as though it was more complicated than the paperwork for *people* immigrating to the USA!)
Tony H.
*** APPENDED 04/07/91 20:40:17 BY ULT/TONY ***
Append on 04/25/91 at 15:58 by Virginia Hetrick in sunny California:
It's true......
Page D1 of the Los Angeles Times for Thursday 25 April 1991, in a story headlined "Film Firm Has Story Right Out of Hollywood":
"...a yet-to-be-released fantasy adventure film called "A Gnome Named Norm"
Can you believe it (except they spelled his name wrong)....... ;-)
*** APPENDED 04/25/91 15:58:55 BY UR/VRH ***
Append on 08/07/91 at 09:15 by Jay Koonz - TIMEX
I would think after all that time Gnorman and Gles are spending together in the states, they will probably go home with an addition. Maybe a baby Gnick Gnome ?
*** APPENDED 08/07/91 09:15:07 BY TMC/JAY ***
Append on 09/21/91 at 19:54 by Neale Ferguson - Sydney Australia:
Hi,
For the final phase of the Gnorman saga, could those who purchased T-shirts have a photograph taken of you (and any others) wearing the shirt and send it along to Lindsay.
Neale.
*** APPENDED 09/21/91 19:54:13 BY $AS ***
Append on 09/28/91 at 07:30 by Mark Cathcart - IBM UK Technical Support:
Neale,
If we send photographs do you want us to identify ourselves or just send them anonymously ?
*** APPENDED 09/28/91 07:30:41 BY .MC ***
Append on 09/29/91 at 06:34 by Neale Ferguson - Sydney Australia:
Please identify yourselves. When the time comes to reveal all I want to explain the story with names and faces etc.
Neale.
PS. Please excuse any non-replies from me over next 10 days or so as I will be on leave. Someone from here will be logging on to check things over. Meanwhile I'm off to Perth in Western Australia.
*** APPENDED 09/29/91 06:34:31 BY $AS/NEALE ***
Append on 10/21/91 at 17:31 by Neale Ferguson - Sydney Australia:
For those who came in late....
I have been asked to give a little background on the Australian attitude towards garden gnomes. There are four distinct types of people in Australia as far as this issue is concerned:
Myself? In the main I fall into category 1 but must admit to having a softspot for a couple of worldly travellers.
Neale.
*** APPENDED 10/21/91 17:31:37 BY $AS/NEALE ***
(1) A local RSL club.
(2) I did in fact take Gnorman and Les with me on my next O/S trip.